Worst. Rehearsal. Ever.

So I'd be surprised if anything else could have gone wrong with the Symphony Hamilton rehearsal tonight:

1. Had to leave late because I had a scheduled rehearsal that went until 5:20 (we usually leave at 5)
2. Left at 5:40 because said rehearsal ended late & Fil got talking to Dr. Stokes.
3. Got lost on the way there **N.B. GIVE ME DIRECTIONS ALWAYS... even if I have been there three times**
4. Arrived with 10 minutes to spare to find out that the other bassoonist was sick so I had to sightread all of the first parts.
5. The player who was sick conveniently did not send all of her music to the rehearsal so I was reading the bassoon part from cues on another part's music; i.e. the notes were insanely small & I had no idea what the key signatures/clefs were on a regular basis; yay me.
6. Start noticing that my B-flats and A's are EXTREMELY flat. Assume my one and only current performance-worthy reed has died. Cue mad knife frenzy during rehearsal.
7. All other low notes start going flatter than a pancake and I lose all notes above middle C. WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!
8. Blow out bocal like a mad woman; whisper hole must have had something stuck in it as I regain my high register but still have WONKY tuning issues that are extremely evident on my exposed parts.
9. 10 min left to go in the rehearsal and I sense that my regulation (how far the keys physically press down when I touch them) is REALLY strange... discover that a set of keys on the boot joint is about to fall off because one of my screws in about an inch out of it's socket. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN WITHOUT ME REALIZING IT?!?!?!
10. Spend last 10min sounding like my normal self only to be living with screaming feelings of embarrassment and stupidity for not checking my rods (a fairly uncommon occurrence for the screws to come out, but still, given the symptoms I should have checked) inside.
11. Ran into the worst fog I've ever experienced on the way home; couldn't even see the lines for much of it... took about 40 min longer than normal to get home.
12. Broke my no-eating-after-7 rule and had a Frosty around Brantford. AND I'm not foreseeing any exercise time until at least Saturday.

Tomorrow better be a better day for me and Paul Anka (my bassoon)...